best places to take a shit in portland

*remember when shitting in a public restroom the earlier in the day you go the better condition the restroom is likely to be in.

Fubonn Market and Asian Shopping center

2850 Southeast 82nd Avenue, Portland, OR‎ – (503) 517-8877‎

drive around to the back parking lot, go in the back entrance and directly to your left as you enter the building is a one person use bathroom separated from much of the rest of the mall. It’s a great place to take a relaxing shit. The door locks and you have the whole room to yourself, there is always ample supplies.

Ikea by the airport

10280 Northeast Cascades Parkway, Portland, OR‎ – (503) 282-4532‎

These bathrooms are great. Try the ones on the second floor near the cafeteria early in the morning.

Batman Style Impact Smoke Grenades that even you can make! (US only)

You will need….

• Potassium Nitrate aka KNO3 (very cheap on ebay right now, only $15.00 for 10lbs of 99% pure stuff)
• Sugar (duh this stuff is everywhere)
• Black Powder (not so easy to get, fireworks are made from it, gun shops, sporting goods store sell it for pretty cheap, it is often called Pyrodex, just pretend that you use it to make your own ammunition. I assure you it is very legal and easy to acquire in most areas.)
• Caps! (this kind of caps, NOT this kind. Available at toy stores everywhere and most corner stores, quickie marts, Asian Marts, etc.)
• Tape/Scissors/Paper etc.

1. Click here and learn how to make a KNO3 Smoke Bomb. Its really not hard to learn all it involves is melting the sugar and KNO3 in the correct ratios. Its really that simple.
2. Once you have made a melted smoke bomb mixture of KNO3 and sugar, you should have a kind of sticky pasty type substance. This stickiness is key. You roll your sticky mess in the black powder. It Should be completely covered. Make about a ping pong ball size.
3. Now Stick the caps around the black powder sticky mess.
4. Tape it all up with paper so your hands don’t get all messy or you don’t rub off the caps/black powder.
5. Throw it on the ground and run!

I have a picture to help you visualize the concept.

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